We are lulled into the idea that we are safe in this world.
But are we really?
Can we call the lives that we lead safe? Can we really?
I mean sure, we have a roof over our heads, and if we are lucky we have a job to go to in the morning. Maybe a mobile phone to read this on? Perhaps. Also a car to take us to all the places we need to go to.
But are we safe?
Most people would say yes to this. Especially if you are reading this article from the comfort of your own home and relaxing on a chair. But most of us have never touched the net of safety before in our lives.
By this I mean sure we have a home; yet the home can be taken from us at any time. Most of us rent, have landlords, and we are removed from the type of home safety that many of our forefathers had. A home was for life, as was a piece of land. It was rarely taken away from you, and if you worked hard then this was a luxury most of us could afford.
We are no longer safe at work; gone are the jobs for life. This was a regular attitude to work when I was younger. I would work with people that had been in the same jobs for their entire lives. But now? We are lucky to exist in a job for a couple of years, our safety net whisked from right underneath our feet. If we find ourselves jobless then we compete with thousands of other people.
And yet relationships are no longer safe either. The hot and sticky fiery marriages that we used to work through in the 20th century have been replaced with the easy commodity of replaceable relationships.
If it doesn’t work then get a new one.
Plenty of people on the dating apps and relationship sites that will pick off where you left off in the last relationship.
It seems as if we have moved from a culture where your nan carefully knits patches into your jeans where they are too worn to wear, to a culture that buys an entire new pair of jeans if there is a small scratch in them.
It is a waste, and we are sacrificing our safety in self for the commodity of materialism.
And through our quest for materialism we are missing the very real points of what creates a safe and loving environment.
When we think of a well loved item we do not think of a brand new toy off the shelf bought for Christmas; we think of a beaten up teddy, stitched together year after year so that a child can love it in the way it always has.
The most well loved items in this world aren’t new and flashy things; they are tried and tested and well worn out with love and care.
The bedrock of love is safety; the need to feel safe. The need to feel heard and seen and viewed for what we are. And yet it seems we are replacing that with fast lives filled with replaceable items, people, and ultimately we are losing our humanity.
Wouldn’t it feel good to know that no matter what happens in your life, however hard, your partner will be right there by your side ready to work through things? A job that you could call a job for your lifetime, and friends you could grow old with?
This is how we used to live our lives. We weren’t perfect, not by a long shot, but we had a good idea of safety and there was way more love in all of our lives.
Today it seems as if we are sold the idea of safety; yet it comes with all the hallmarks of underlying fear. Wondering if this is where you will live for the rest of your lives, wondering how long your relationship will last until someone better comes along, and never really bonding with anyone in a deeper level where the friendship lasts forever.
And through that we are side-stepping one of the most fundamental truths that make us human — safety in self.
But can we change it?
It seems bleak right now. It seems like everyone is rushing about their business trying to make it in life and forgetting the very real roots they must build first before anything matters. The future seems over. That darkness has won.
Well, no, it all starts in the quiet things at home that make us feel human. The computer game you always go back to because of the fond memories it brings you. The friend that you like being around because sometimes around them they always make you feel whole. Or the family member that always has room for you no matter what you’re up to.
Sometimes remembering safety and belonging requires you to stop pushing forward and reminding yourself what truly matters at your core.
Where is the gold within? The gold outside will never matter to you. It is material and it changes all the time. But those that have always been around you and made you feel like a human being..
Those people matter a great deal.
This is your gold. This is your safety.
Without that you can’t build anything or do anything.
You can’t build an empire of diamond without having solid foundations. Without those foundations, without that safety, then the smallest butterfly landing will topple everything down.
Go back to your roots always and remember your safety. This does not always have to mean family or repetition because sometimes family aren’t the kindest to us, and we all have our own repetitive bad habits.
I mean go back to what makes you feel whole.
What makes you feel like you can be free and expressive and authentic.
This is what you’ve had all of your life but you have been chasing the wrong things and forgetting what matters.
Safety first.
All else second.
